Heart of the Amazon
WRITTEN IN THE ORDER: MAYA, JULIA, MATT, SARAH, IRENE, KATE, KAT
The small boat floated slowly down the Amazon. It was quiet and peaceful, apart from the splash of the oars as Lawrence, the small, dark, Amazonian jungle boy of 11 rowed along. He was smiling and singing to himself as the hot sun beat down. He was very happy, since he had just been paid an exorbitant amount of BOLIVIAN Maracas (which are the currency of Bolivia, which is the country they were in) to row the strange white woman to where she wanted to go. Lawrence turned and looked at the reason for his wealth. Dressed in a linen suit and a wide brimmed hat and looking a bit squeamish, sat Julia. She patted her pocket to reassure herself that the treasure map she had so skillfully acquired was still there. Yes, it was. She looked around, worried of the big fat mosquitos attacking her, and wondered when she would arrive.
***
Meanwhile, back in a bedroom in a house in a city somewhere, electronic bangs and sounds could be heard emanating from a computer.
"Die, you bastard!" yelled Sarah, pushing her thick glasses up her nose.
They had slid down due to her sweat. She always got extremely excited when she played her computer, especially when playing her favourite game - "Amazonian Massacre". She sighed. She had been killed in the game by the biggest monster of the last level - the Rod-meister. Oh well. He mum, Irene, was calling her for dinner.
Sarah didn't want to abandon the game but as they were expecting guests for dinner she really had to go. The Rod-meister would just have to wait.
"Sarah. This is Dr. Chris Edwards." Irene announced as Sarah arrived in the dining room. 'So this strange man all in khaki is my uncle?' Sarah thought to herself, what she said however was "Hello strange man in a safari suit, you look like you just walked out of my game."
"Sarah!" Irene exclaimed, astounded her daughter could be so rude.
Dr. Edwards, unpeturbed, responded "That's OK Irene, I'm sure I do look a little odd. I'm very pleased to see you Sarah, why last time I saw you you must have been this high..."
Sarah interrupted Dr Edwards' hand gesture with "Why do all long lost relatives insist on being interested in the banal fact that children grow."
"Well Sarah, the reson I'm here is precisely because you have grown. I trust you have nearly completed your training..."
"Training, what training... Mum is he nuts?" Sarah asked Irene, she was a rather forthright, if not downright rude child. "I go to school Chris, if that's what you mean..."
"No, Sarah. The simulation. Amazonian Massacre I believe we dramatically named it."
"Oh so you're asking whether I clocked the game yet,... well not quite but only because Rod-meister cheated."
"Good, good. Sarah the momentous time has come to give you your mission in life," Chris excitedly expounded. "You were chosen as a child for your adventurousness to carry out a most dangerous and vital task. Training has been long and rigorous and whilst you have not quite finished we have no more timem to waste. We must leave for the Amazon tomorrow morning."
"Hang on a minute, you crazy little man, I'm not going anywhere with you unless you're in a straight jacket and I'm escorting you to an asylum."
Chris just smiled. He knew she would be perfect...
speeding fast away from the earth was the creations of the mad twisted and crimminally insane evil genious Edward Morris Barkley Payne. There was the half-woman half-monkey, named Kat and Maya half Ed's daughter and half hawk.
Then suddenly there was a piercing screach... The rocket went down in a flaming mess. In a remote corner of the amazon.
I am on strick...
***
Three hours later Payne, Maya and Kat emerged from the rubble that bad been their rocket ship. Maya and Kat stripped off their halloween costumes (which had made them look half-hawk and half-monkey respectively). They frantically tried to find their pilot, Bree, who had not yet escaped the debris. Meanwhile, their father Payne pulled his humungous metal detector out from under some scorched ship parts.
"Not exactly where I planned to land but close enough." Payne whistered to himself. His metal detector was specifically designed to find the hidden treasure burried somewhere in the depths of the Amazon.
"Yay". Cried his daughters as Bree strode out of the Jungle. She has already climbed out of the wreakage and had been finding firewood for the family.
Bree ducked under a tree as she approached the girls. She had been ducking a lot lately to escape branches - being 6 foot 2 had its disadvatage.
***
"What the hell are you doing, Matt?" KatE exclaimed to her brother.
Matt was reaching an oar out of the boat and toward a rectangular object.
"Bugger and damnation." He roared as it was caught in a current and floated away. "That was the latest Cosmo."
KatE shook her head in dismay and hoped it wasn't genetic. She grabbed the oar from Matt and started rowing. They drifted down the river towards their destiny...
***
Julia, assisted by Lawrence, stepped off the boat and onto the swampy banks of the Amazon.
"Ow." she yelped as she was bitten by a mosquito again. Lauren, her assistant and protector (trained in the arts of Tae Kwon Do and the bitch slap game), produced a can of aeroguard and remidied the situation.
"Are you ready, Lauren? From now on, things will be different for you and I." Julia said as she and Lauren walked down the path Lawrence had pointed out. He was puzzled by these strange women, however, there were much better things to do. He grabbed a vine and swung off into the distance. Julia and Lauren came to the end of the path and looked around for the guides they had booked.
Suddenly, out of the depths of the jungle stepped a man and woman wearing t-shirts labelled AMAZING AMAZONIAN TOURS.
"Ladies, hello, are you ready to go?" Darren asked.
"Ah yes" Replied Julia. "This is my assistant Lauren and I am Julia Scarfe."
"Lovely to meet you." smiled Laura. "After you." She revealed another path cleverly hidden by the trees.
Julia and Lauren stared down it and thus, didn't see Laurea's evil smile.
"When do we get the map?" She asked Darren.
"Soon." He whispered.
***
"Nice of you to join us" Payne said, as Bree knocked her head on a branch while making her way to the others.
"Yeah, yeah" Bree muttered, annoyed that she hadn't yet mastered the art of landing in a graceful manner.
"So, dad - are you going to lett us why we're here yet?" Kat asked.
Payne paused for a second before replying, "All will be revealed..."
Kat shrugged, throughly sick of her father's annoying attempts at being mysterious and interesting. Payne, however, had a sly grin slowly spreading across his face as he took out his metal detector. Kat, Maya and Bree did not share his enthusiasm, having been slowly persuaded to accompany him on his strange trip. As Payne held out the metal detector it began to detect a small but definate signal.
"Oooohh!" squealed Payne excitedly, "Come on, we must be close..."
***
As soon as dinner was over, Sarah was excused from the table. She rushed upstairs, eager to finish combat with the Rod-meister, leaving Dr. Edwards and her mother to chat. Sarah was more eager than usual to escape to her bedroom, due to the presence of the creepy Chris.
Dr. Edwards watched Sarah leave and smiled at her mother in delight.
"She's turned out perfectly, Irene," Christ glowed. "More than I could possibly have wished for. You and Matthew, Mrs Irene Morrison, did the right thing when you took young Sarah into your home. Matthew would have been proud."
***
Maya trudged along behind her father, still looking decidedly hawkish, with her sharp features. She shot a look at Payne's back and whined - "Dad! I'm starving!"
"Yes, dear," Payne muttered distractedly, more interested in his forthcoming discovery.
Maya sulked. She noted that Bree and Kat has disappeared and it was not fair. To distract herseld, Maya went back to her current project: attempting to work out how many possibly combinations there were in the game "Set".
It was some time before Maya was startled out of her thoughts by Bree running into her.
"Bree!" she shrieked. "Don't do that to me when I'm hungry!"
"I'm not hungry," announced Bree. "I'm eating there..." she held up a handful of tiny crabs. "They're crunchy?"
"Ew!" cried Maya. "That's disgusting. Where did you get that anyway?"
Bree explained how she'd found the crabs on the banks of the river, spiralling into the ground. She was launching into a description of their nutty flavour when Payne interrupted.
"Did you say there was a river, Bree? That's exactly what I wanted. A detector will do nothing if I don't know where the river is. Take me to it."
***
As Sarah launched another axe at the Rod-meister's head (accompanied by a series of squeals), Irene banged on the bedroom door.
"Sare, sweetie, Chris and I need to talk to you."
Sarah watched herself eaten on the moniter, shrugged and opened her bedroom door to accompany her mother downstairs. In the living room, Dr Edwards was settled on a chair waiting for her.
"Now, Sarah, I need to explain your heritage to you. You were born... at the Edwards Institute, for a specific purpose. After the incident that can only be referred to as "The Trev Disaster" we in higher power recreated the institute in a different location. I was the first to be altered, and you, my dear, are the final product of all our genetic engineering. Our main scientist, Ed Payne, worked very hard on you. Our other experiments are already in the Amazon with him."
"Look, mister, I don't know what you're talking about and I don't care. I want to go and kill the Rod-meister."
"But Sarah, the entire reason for your existance is to kill the real Rod-meister.
Sarah became interested.
"Tell me more. In dot points."
"You are the product of years of genetic engineering. Many, many times we tried splicing the genes of animals with those of humans to implane the superiour qualities of out animal bretheren into the human. You, Sarah, have enhansed intelligence, as well as fast reflexes, superiour running speed, and many other skills which will enable you to be the one to pillage the "Rod-meister's" tomb."
"Right... By myself."
"No, no... Like I said, Ed Payne and 2 of the other experiments are already awaiting your arrival in the Amazon. Kat had her genes spliced with a monkey, giving her enhanced agility and the helpful ability to climb almost anything. The other experiment, Maya, was spliced with a hawk, giving her enhanced vision. She will be able to see the natives where they're hiding in the jungle, and you will be able to so your duty and kill them, as your training as allowed you to imagine doing."
"When can I leave?"
***
"Stop!" cried Payne. "We have reached the spot! Now all we need to do is wait for Chris and Sarah to arrive."
"Yeah, yeah," replied Maya, settling down on a rock. "I just want to find the temple. Remember, you promised me a golden bracelet."
"Yes, dear," replied Payne distractedly.
The others settled down to wait for Chris and Sarah.
***
In the heights of a tree, Lars peered down at everyone. He had delivered Julia and Lauren to Darren and Laura, as he had promised to do. Darren had promised Lars that he would never exclude Lars again, if he did this thing. For Lars and Darren were brothers, and Lars idolised Darren. Lars had darted ahead to spy out the track for his brother, and had discovered Payne, Bree, Kat and Maya. Lars watched them for a while, then slunk back through the trees towards Darren, Laura, Julia and Lauren.
***
"Dad," began Maya, staring after lawrence.
"Not now, dear," replied Payne, handing Maya a block of melting chocolate.
Distracted, Maya didn't mention the boy who had been watching them from the trees.
***
KatE paddled towards the shore, and tied up her boat at the village. She conversed with the chief, and discovered Laura had gone treasure hunting. Matt helpfully clucked his tongue a couple of times, but both KatE and the chief ignored him. KatE eventually turned back to her brother.
"She's not here. Grab the packs and we'll follow her."
"Ok," agreed Matt, lifting all four packs from the boat.
Matt handed the small backpack to KatE and arranged the others on his body. 'That's the one good things about Matt,' thought KatE. 'He makes a good pack-horse...'
Aloud, she said, "Come on, it's this way."
Matt and KatE vanished into the jungle.
***
Meanwhile, Irene, Chris, and Sarah were in Chris's personal plane on their way to the Amazon, Sarah engrossed in her laptop. Chris was flying the plane, and Irene was peering out the window.
"Oooh, look, Sarah dear - we can see mountains and the river!" Irene said, but Sarah ignored her, deep in battle with Rod-meister.
Suddenly, the plane started making odd noised - bangs and clicks.
"Um, we seem to be having a problem here," Chris said, beads of sweat forming on his forhead.
Irene ran up to the cockpit, "What's wrong?"
"I don't know - it seems as if someonw has tampered with the brakes - they don't work!" CHris yelled.
"Aaaagh!" Chris and Irene ran screaming around like headless chooks, afraid of their approaching deaths, as the plane plummeted headfirst into the depths of the Amazon. Sarah, meanwhile, didn't even notice and kept playing, holding onto her laptop so it wouldn't fall.
There was a big smash as the plane cut through trees and finally came to rest in front of a big stone temple.
Miraculously, all three survived, but Sarah had broken both her legs and was screaming a high pitched scream that echoed over valleys.
Chris and Irene pulled her from the rubble, "Stop screaming, stop it!"
Sarah paused to take a breath, "But... But... my laptop!" she wailed.
Chris worridly turned to Irene after inspecting Sarah's legs "Yep, definitely broken - What are we going to do? We can't defeat RodMeister without her?"
***
The big, red, furry animal slash human lifted its ugly head as it heard a piercing scream.
"Rrrr..." The Rod Meister did not like being disturbed from its ritual girly-hat-trying-on session that it did every day. RodMeister drew his energy from the hats, the girlier the better. He fumbled his way back to his hat-cave. He lived in a collection of caves in a hill, hidden from the rest of the Amazon.
***
Kat who has just come back from one of her many walks (she disappears as often as possible because she doesn't like her father much) is talking to Maya.
"You know how dad makes us wear those stupid halloween suits... well I think I've worked out why. I have this really cool monkeylike ability to swing through trees and I think he knows this and that you have some special hawklike ability and he can't remember which of us has which so he makes us wear the stupid suits so he can tell without telling us our powers. Don't you think so? Isn't this just one big conspiracy? Aren't you outraged?" Kat asked - she rather liked the hound of her own voice.
"Oh." replied Maya. "You know what. I just saw a monkey boy in those trees over there," said Maya, meaning the jungle boy Lawrence she'd just seen.
"Really, so there's more like me!" exclaimed Kat happily as she launched herself into the nearest tree and swung off in the direction Maya had pointed (towards the approaching Julia, Lauren, Darren and Laura.
***
"Faster, Matt, faster," Kate urged as they hacked through vines, trees and the occasional anaconda in their haste to catch up with Laura.
"Mmmph" grunted Matt, who after all was carrying 3 large packs to Kate's single small one.
Just then the terrain became steeper and they could see through the jungle above to a stone temple at the top of the nearest, and largest, hill.
"Look, there Matt... I think I can see... an aeroplane!" Kate shouted excitedly.
***
Underneath the temple, in a comfy cave, the Rodmeister roared with anger. All these horrible little people crawling all over his hills, being noisy and inconsiderate. Oooh and pink. Yummy, yummy pink. Suddenly the Rodmeister was very very hungry - for delicious, soft, sweet pink pink flesh from the little ones. "Mmm" the Rodmeister groaned with delight in anticipation of the succulent feast that awaited him.
The Rodmeister crawled out of the cave and toward the pink, juicy people.
***
KatE and Matt trudged up the mountain in the direction of the temple. Suddenly, they heard a high pitched squeak and running towards them was a mouse-sized red, furry shape. You see, the Rodmeister was big - to ants, spiders and anything smaller than a 5 cent coin. It ran down and bit Matt on the ankle.
"Ow!" Matt yelled and kicked it off. The Rodmeister bounced off a tree and onto the floor dead. KatE and Matt shrugged and continuted.
***
Julia, Lauren, Darren and Laura approached the temple ignoring the plane crash and the people around it because they were boring.
"At last! At last! I will have my treasure." Julia cried as she read off the map that the temple was the last stop. The others crowded around her. SUddenly, they heard voices eminating from just below them on the mountain.
"Laura." They cried. "Laura!"
Matt and KatE, who had finally found who they were looking for, ran up to her.
"Hey." Laura exclaimed. "You're the two people I met last night at the pub."
"Yeah." KatE replied. "We've been trying to reach you for a day now."
"Why?" Laura asked puzzled.
"Because you left your keys at the bar." Matt explained and handed them over.
"Oh, thanks." Laura said. "I didn't even realise."
"No problem." KatE smilied and brother and sister turned and returned from where they had come.
***
Meanwhile, Julia, Lauren, Darren and Laura entered the clearing where Payne, Maya, Kat and Bree were waiting. "Hello" said Darren, holding out his hand to Payne "I am Darren, and this is Laura - we are Amazonian Tour Guides. What are you doing in these parts?" "Er - nice to meet you." Payne shifted his feet nervously and glanced at his watch. Where WERE Chris and Sarah? They should have arrived ages ago.
Payne shook these thought from his head and cleared his throat.
"Um, well, we are tourists, just here on holiday..." His face flushed a little, as he was not used to lying. "My name is Edward Payne, and these are my daughters Maya and Kat, and pilot Bree."
Darren nodded distractedly. He had just noticed Maya and Kat, who were curiously peering into the bushes where Lawrence sat watching them. Darren excused himself and headed towards the bushes. What had Lawrence discovered about these people? He could not let anything get in the way of him getting that map off Julia and Lauren, and if these strange new people were a possible threat, they would need to be dealt with...
***
Chris and Irene stood together, nervously discussing Sarah's predicament. Chris was absolutely distraught, whilst Irene was quietly scared. Their discussion was difficult, due to Sarah's Shrieking. Suddenly, Chris found himself grasped firmly from behind. Sarah had walked up to Chris, grabbed him by the shoulders, and was yelling at him.
"What are you going to do about my laptop?" she screamed.
"Oh my god!" cried Chris. "How are you walking? Your legs were broken!!"
"Oh, that," Sarah said flippantly, "Not any more." Then, hysterically once more, "What about my poor computer?"
Irene eventually calmed Sarah by offering her a new laptop - top of the range - when they got home. Chris, meanwhile, was pondering the miracle of Sarah's healed legs: "What could account for Sarah's ability to heal? It must be the result of some splicing... What animal had the ability to regenerate... hmm... I know, it could be the starfish I spliced into her genes... yes, yes..."
"You are so boring," announced Sarah, "Let's go now. I can feel the Rod-meister. He's that way."
***
The Rod-meister sat in his tomb, in his temple, and cried. The death of his tiny, red, furry pet - affectionately named the Rod-meister, after his illustrious owner - had shattered the monster. Wiping his eyes, the Rod-meister resolved to destroy those nasty (much smaller than him) little pink humans.
***
Whilst Julia, Lauren, Laura, Payne, Maya, Kat and Bree were at the clearing, Darren hiked through the jungle, until he found Lars. Lars was up a tree, devouring a loaf of bread that he'd stoled from Julia's backpack. Darren called to Lars, and Lars, hearing his brother, bounded down enthusiastically.
"Were you watching those strange people? The ones with the two girls that look like animals?"
Lars grinned happily.
"Yup," he announced.
"Why are they here?" Darren demanded. "What do they want? Are they in the jungle just for the treasure, or do they know of the secret metal box produced by the ancients that will provide endless water? With that power, I could provide endless water to the arid regions of the earth and weild almighty power..." Darren rambled on about his plans dor world domination, and tied up in his dreams, he did not notice the heavy footsteps approaching, not the huge hand reaching down to grasp Lars. The crunch of bones passed by Darren unnoticed...
"...with my millions, I will create a stream robots to carry out my every whim, and... Lawrence? Lawrence?"
Darren spotted Lars' remains and screamed. He then ran back to his friends.
Laura, Julia and Lauren listened patiently to Darren's incoherant ramblings, having become quite used to it on the trip to the temple. Payne, however, listened to the story with a growing sense of horror.
"No!" he cried. "The Rod-meister has awakened! We're doomed! Doomed I tell you!"
The others backed away from Payne and Darren's hysteria, leaving them alone in the clearing. Kat and Maya eyed their "father" warilly, confused. He had hever acted this way before. What could have happened to make him behave this way?
The Rod-meister nibbled on the remains of Matt as he headed to the clearing. He had run across KatE and Matt as he followed Darren's trail back to the others. They had been quite tasty. The Rod-meister sniffed the air and headed towards the clearing.
Sarah, Chris and Irene entered the clearing to see Darren and Payne clutching at each other, gibbering unintelligbly. The arrival of 3 more "sane" people caused the others to return to the middle of the clearing. Cautious introductions were conducted, and in the course of discussions, Sarah learned that Darren had decided that he had seen his brother devoured before his eyes.
"Stop that whinging," commanded Sarah. "I will destroy the Rod-meister. It is what I was created to do."
The others, with the exception of Chris, Payne and Irene, met this proclamation with varying degrees of skepticism. At that moment, the Rod-meister burst into the clearing. He grabbed Kat, Maya and Darren in one hand, and Irene, Julia and Laura in the other. With a delighted growl, he shoved both handfuls into his mouth and crunched them to screams of horror. He scooped up Payne and Bree next, and tossed them into the air before catching them in his mouth. The Rod-meister swallowed his mouthful and looked around. Sarah and Chris had jumped behind a rock, and Lauren was heading for the trees. The Rod-meister picked up Lauren by her little head and pulled off pieces to eat slowly.
"Ah ha!" cried Sarah. "Now I know how to defeat the Rod-meister!"
"How?!" cried Chris. "For the love of God, how?!"
"Sacrifice the other members of the group!"
Saying this, Sarah kicked Chris out into the open and bolted into the jungle. The Rod-meister, who had just finished Lauren's head, picked up Chris and crushed him in his hand. The Rod-meister slowly licked the sweet red pulp from his fingers and looked around for more pink food. Sarah was standing very still, using all her camoflague skills. The Rod-meister looked straight past her.
Satisfied that there was no more pink food, the Rod-meister rubbed his full belly contentedly, and headed towards his cave to sleep off his meal. Sarah stealthily followed him, and watched silently. The Rod-meister settled himself on his bed, patted a small black box and fell asleep, to digest his meal.
Sarah crept towards the Rod-meister, with her knife drawn. She knew that the soles of the Rod-meister's feet were his only vulnerable spot, and she crept clowly as not to wake him. Reaching his exposed feet, Sarah swiftly and without mercy, stabbed the Rod-meister's feet repeatedly. The Rod-meister awoke suddenly in great pain. One of those annoying little pink things was hurting him! He roared angrily, then realised he couldn't move. He was dying! This couldn't be happening to him! Sarah watched contentedly as the Rod-meister slowly died before her eyes. Why hadn't she thought of sacrificing the rest of the group before? Stuff this 'thinking of others' crap. She was alive, and the Rod-meister was dead. It was all good.
Sarah looked around the cave in interest. Juat by the Rod-meister's bed was a small black box. Sarah wansered over to it and peered at it curiously. The box was lovingly looked after, and polished. The gold engraving proclaimed the box to be named "Mrs.Ariel". Sarah thought this was quite curious, and picked up the box.
Far in the jungle, the chief of the village sat up as a loud roar echoed through the Amazon. The Chief moved to the edge of the village and stared into the jungle. Deep in the jungle the roar was heard again. In the Rod-meister's cave, the girly hats were being flung around. Finally exhausted, the Sarah-meister lay down in her cave and fell asleep.
THE END