The Desert Inn Mystery
WRITTEN IN THE ORDER: SARAH, KAT, MAYA, CATIE, KATE, DARREN, GREG
Kat hauled her suitcase through the doors of the Desert Inn and smiled. Finally the weekend had arrived. She had been waiting - it seemed endlessly - for the murder mystery party and had paid hard-earned money for the show. The concept behind it was 4 actors would create the scene of a 20s jazz bar. One of the actors would be mysteriously murdered while the remaining actors would have motives for commiting the crime. A "detective" would then enter and help the players uncover clues as to the murders' identity. Kat knew that there were 6 other players besides herself. She was required to bring appropriate costume and had become quite attached to her purple father-boa.
Kat climbed the staircase to a landing where the reception desk was located.
"Hello." she called softly. There was no reply. "Hellooo." she repeated. Then kat heard footsteps approaching behind her and turned to see a tall man with piercing blue eyes... 
Kat smiled.
"Hi, I'm Kat. I'm here for the murder mystery."
"Hey, I'm Darren. I'm one of the actors."
"Wonderful! Do you know where I'm supposed to be?"
"Everyone is gathering in the kitchen. Just tak ethe 3rd door to the left down that hall. Just leave your bag here & we'll put it in your room."
"Ok, thanks!" Kat followed Darren's directions, & entered a bussling kitchen. 3 women who obviously knew each other quite well were sitting at a table, with two men. Making coffee was another woman, and two men in the pantry.
"Hi," said the coffee woman. "I'm Sarah. Are you an actor?"
"No, I'm a player."
"Lovely! Those three are actors, & there's one more who I haven't met yet."
"Oh, I met him in the hall. His name's Darren."
"Oh, so ther is a male actor! The other actors are KatE, Laura & Lauren. The boys are players too ~ Matt & Greg."
"I thought there was another actor and more players?"
"There is, and there is. The other actor is the detective, we don't meet him until the murder. I don't know who the other players are. Coffee?"
"White, 2 sugars, thanks."
Sarah added water & milk, & the 2 joined the others at the table.
Just then, the 2 men came out of the pantry. As they turned around, Sarah gasped, "Oh dear, I thought you were... never mind."
The rather butch woman looked at her gruffly, "What, what's the matter? You have a problem with me?" she said in the deepest voice they had ever heard.
"Well, my name's Sarah, what's yours? Sarah said, very red.
"I'm Catie, and this here's my hubbie Rod," she growled & gestured to the small, meek, scared looking man who was hidden behind his thick glasses. "Yes, uh, hello" he whispered.
"We're also players," Catie said. Everyone introduced themselves.
The kitchen door slammed open, as a small figure clutching a mobile phone & designer sunnies in 1 hand & a bag in the other entered, "Oh, gee, Sorry I'm late, I had this meeting with my boss & it went overtime & then..." she stopped as her moble started ringing.
A loud booming voice rang out, "Hey, you over there - turn that darned device off, we don't like technology at the Desert Inn." It was the innkeeper, the boss of it all - Chris. He had a big, bald head, a pot belly & an apron saying 'Kiss the chef'. He belched in Irene's face & wabbled back out to the bar. Irene was the last of the players,
Just at that moment, a strident voice was heard from the door: "That better not be you, Chris, being rude to our customers."
"No, Maya, dear, I was just laying down the ground rules."
"That's just as well," Maya nodded as she entered the room. "Now, ladies & gentlemen, if you'll just follow me though to the dining room and we can get started since everyone's here."
As they followed the bustling lady, Sarah commented quietly to Kat, "I'm glad someone here seems to be in charge."
***
Backstage, the actors were putting on their final costume accessories.
"So what do you think of tongiht's lot, eh Laura?" asked the detective.
"They seem a pretty mixed lot, really. There are a few in there that should give us a good show, though."
"I have a feeling it iwll be a really good show tonight," the detective smiled mysteriously.
***
Maya awoke from her dream. She sighed and shifted, trying to remember when exactly she had fallen asleep. These days her age was catching up with her, and she often dozed off in the middle of the day. This time, she'd been sitting quietly in the parlor, reading her book, and she'd just fallen asleep. Maya stood up and was about to leave the room, when she heard voices coming through the wall.
"Oh! Hello... what are you two doing in here?"
"We have some... business... to attend to..."
"Yes - we've been meaning to deal with this... business... for some time. You can help us."
"Me? How can I...? What! What are you doing with that..."
The pleading voice cut off abruptly, replaced by a cry, a short scream and then silence. "Oh my God!" thought Maya, "That sounded like someone being hurt. I must get help."
She ran from the parlor to find her husband, Chris.
***
The players sat in the inn's diniing room where Maya had left them, happily chatting. Dinner was to be the beginning of the murder mystery, which would continue through to the next few days. Excitment was in the air. Suddenly, a flused looking man entered the room.
"I'm sorry," he said, sounding as if the end of the world was night, "Dinner will be delayed another hour. We're having some crab problems."
The man scuttled away, to the sounds of disappointment from the players.
"Who was that, anyway?" asked Matt.
Sarah, who seemed to know a great deal about these things, explained that that was the chef, one Mister Payne. Sarah suggested that they leave the dining room and return for dinner in an hour. Everyone agreed, and the group split up.
~
Maya found Chris in his office. She was slightly hysterical by this stage, and was fairly incoherent. However, Chris finally established that Maya believed that she had heard one of the guests being murdered.
"Maya, you dear, stupid thing, it is a murder mystery! Waht you heard was the actors rehearsing the murder scene.'
"No," cried Maya, "I heard the voices of the players."
"Maya, all of the players are in the dining room, where you left them. Remember? You were getting them started. Come with me, and I'll show you that they're all safe."
But when Maya and Chris entered the dining room, it was empty.
***
Maya finding the room deserted was filled with panic. She hobbled arround the room, her knee always played up after she was asleep. Chris had to catch Maya to stop her from falling over. "Where are they?" maya cried. "I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable esplanation for this" said Crhis. Just then a yell broke the silence of the room. Chris rushed across to the window and saw all the players gathered arround the pool. Chris strained his eyes to see what they were looking at and then told maya "I have found the players although there is a female lying face down in the water. I think she is dead."
***
I n the kitchen the crabs were rebelling. The crabs that were meant to be boiled for dinner had escaped the pot and were attacking the cooks. There was much screams of pain comming from the kitchen as the cooks were repeatedly grabbed by the crab pinchers.
Gathered around the pool, the other players chanted at the impromptue breath-holding contest being had at the pool. Sarah, face-down and winning, was going teal in colour, but a purplish flush told of her excitement. Finally she could take no more, and pulled herself up with flailing arms, unwittingly punting the distraught Chris into the icy depths.
"Oh my God! I'll save you, my darling!" cried senile Maya, muttering about her beloved couldn't swim.
Meanwhile the chef was cornered, armed only with a rolling pin and batter against the marauding crabs. A couple of the more easily bored crabs headed for water.
Drenched, besuited Chris folorley hung himself over Maya's sturdy form. However his legs had gone numb from shock, and didn't feel a thing as the no-longer bored crabs started dinner on his toes. More crabs joined them, and Chris, panicked, started to flail against their irresestable pull. "What now, stupid?" asked Maya, annoyed that her tartan skirt was rained from the water.
"Take me to bed." Chris asked of his wife adn the two trotted off.
"Well..." Greg muttered. "What now?"
"Maybe dinner's ready." the ever-hungry Matt commented and so the group went back into the dining room.
***
Aftera lovely dinner - one which had featured no crabs - the players moved into the parlour. Sitting at a piano was Darren, playing a mournful tune. He wore clothes of the 1920s period and the players smiled knowing that finally the show had begun.
"Are you alright?" Catie asked.
"No." lamented Darren. "My love is being blackmailed..." Darren (who's name was now Grunthor Hobb) recounted to the players how his girlfriend, Faraday Beth (KatE) was being threatned by a woman to leave him.
"Oooh." cooed Rod, lvoing the intrigue.
"Yes, it is very sad." Grunthor continued. "The woman has said if Farady does not leave me some sordid detail of her past will be revealed. Though I cannot think of anything bad she would have done that could damage her reputation, Farady insists the she must comply with the woman wishes. I, however, can think of another way to solve the problem." Darren said, cunnivingly.
Suddenly Laura entered the room.
"It is you." Darren cried and the players took it to mean that she was the blackmailer.
"Yes, it is I - Althea Smith. So, has Farady left you yet?" She asked evily.
Darren gave her a deadly look and stalked oiut of the room.
Althea settled down in a chair & sighed.
"I do not understand why Grunthor always reacts that way," she mused to the audience. "Surely he can see that Faraday is bad for him. I would be so much better."
Lauren entered the room, dressed in a *very* scandalous outfit.
"Ce'Nedra! What are you wearing?!"
"This? Oh... um... well, it's just this outfit that I had... um... promised to show Grunthor. I uh - thought he was in here."
Laura eyed her companion suspiciously.
"He's with Faraday," she said with satisfaction.
Lauren's eyes narrowed & an evil look crossed her face.
"I think you're lying, Althea!" exclaimed Lauren. "I know..."
"You know," prompted Laura, innocently.
"Uh... nothing. I'm going to find Grunthor now."
Lauren sashayed out of the room, leaving Laura alone.
***
The scene changed, to show KatE, looking furoius.
"I can't believe he would do that!" she exclaimed. "And that hussy. I have never trusted that man. And I am stuck in this room! Actually..." KatE threw open a "window" & exited. A few moments later, Darren entered.
"Faraday?" he called.
Finding the room empty, he left.
***
"Good evening," announced the woman. "I am Detective Julia Scarfe, and I must announce that this afternoon, one Miss Ce-Nedra Bolg was found most violently murdered!"
There were gasps from the audience, & a "I knew she was going to die," from Matt. "I would have done it myself. Saucy wench."
"Ladies & Gentlemen," announched Julia. "You now have the opportunity to interact with the actors, & attempt to discover who the murderer was!" The others entered the room.
"How was the wench murdered?" yelled Catie.
"The deceased was found in the 3rd bathroom, hung by her ankles, with her arms stretched out, & her eyeballs cut out."
"Ew!" cried Rod, in disgst.
Just then, Chris rushed in.
"Help, help! There's something wrong! Lauren is laying facedown in the pool, & the crabs are eating her! She's really dead!" They all rushed out to the pool, & sure enough, there was Lauren's half eaten body in the water.
Maya walked over from her room, her pet mule Joshina following. "What's all the fuss about? Oh, I see now..." she said looking into the pool. "Eeeoor," said Joshina.
In the darkness of outside, no one noticed 2 figures sneak off into the cactus garden nearby.
Just then, everyone heard the clop-clopping of a horse's hooves. They looked over & saw... a real cowboy! "Howdy folks, what seems to be the problem?" he drawled slowly.
Irene & Kat gasped simultaneously, "Lars! It's you!" they both said. Then Irene fainted & ate her, after polishing off Lauren.
After they had unsuccessfully tried to save poor Irene & had stopped screaming, they all turned to Lars, who was sitting there contentedly, chewing on a piece of straw, "What? You think it's my fault?" he said. "Hey there, honey," he added with a whink towards Kat.
***
A muted conversation in the cactus garden:
"Good work with Lauren. Nice work to get in and out so well. I barely noticed you myself."
"Why thank you. It's a pity about Irene though, and htat mule is really buggin me."
"Ah well, can't do anything about either of those, can you now?"
"What do you mean? I can deal with the damned mule pretty easily..."
"Actually, you might hfind that a little difficult, in your present condition."
"Aahhh..." *gurgle gurgle*
"Much better. You knew too much, Payne, and besides, my crabs are not to be eaten.
***
"Oh dear, oh dear, "muttered Chris, as he pulled what remained of Irene onto the deck. "This is going to do terrible things to our insurance premiums." Muttering to himself, he wandered over to his office. He threw open the door and then stopped, turned a pale shade of grey, and then dropped to the ground in a dead faint. The others stared at him for a while, and finally Maya ran towards him.
"My darling! What is it? Eeeeuww."
Greg went after her, stuck his head in the door, and saw the dead body of an old woman, falling from the cupboard.
"Who is that?" Kat asked, poking the body with her toe.
No body knew, so Kat ransacked the body for identification. They finally determined the woman to be one Mrs S Ariel.
"That doesn't really help," Julia stated.
"Look, whoever she is, what is blatently obvious is that we have a murderer in our midst," kate said, practically.
"Oh my God!" screamed Laura, and ran around in circles.
"Not a problem," Darren replied, "We are experienced in working out mysteries. Let's just look at the evidence and work out who the murderer is."
"But the murderer must be one of us," cried Laura, "How scary!"
***
Everyone had moved into the dinig room, opting to stick together, rather than let the murderer run loose around the inn - or even escape. Maya got out her butcher's paper, and was making mind-maps in an effort to understand the situation. The others sat around, looking suspiciously at everyone else.
"Now, logically it can't be me..." Maya said, drawing a green cross through a little picture of herself with coloured pencil. She had already crossed out all the dead people with a bright red pencil, an act which Rod had declared to be disgustingly morbid
"Why not?" Kat asked.
"Duh!" said Maya, "As if!"
Kate stood up.
"I can't cope with this anymore," she said, "I really need the bathroom."
"Yeah, you just want to runn off and kill people," shrieked Sarah, "Murderer!"
"I just want to go to the toilet," replied Kate, "What if someone takes me to the bathroom?"
"You just want to get someone alone," Sarah accused.
"Okay," complied Kate, "Three people can take me. You can choose who."
"Alright," Sarah said, begrudgingly, after thinking deeply about this preposition and not finding any fault with it.
"You could just go in the corner," Maya suggested.
"Yuck!" said everyone else.
Sarah chose Kat and Catie to take Kate to the toilet, and Lars to accompany them and stand outside the door. After they had left, Greg, Matt, Rod and Darren also decided to go, leaving Sarah, Laura, Chris and Maya alone in the dinihg room. Maya continued with her mind-map.
"Oh no!" she cried, suddenly. "I know who the murderer is!"
***
Lars, standing in the hallway, saw a sea of red progressing allong towards the dinigh room. Suddenly he realised that they were the crabs out of the pool, in a fit of panic he opened the nearest door and stubled inside.
***
The people in the dining room only became aware of the crabs once they had completly entered the room. Maya, totally convinced she knew the identity of the murderer was arguing with the others who did not believe her. Chris alerted everyone to the pressence of the crabs with a suprised yelp as one of them bit his toe. Panic filled the room as the crabs began to climb up everyones body, slowly eating them. Sarah triped and fell through the window escaping the crabs but the others were not so lucky. Laura and Chris died quickly but Maya's death was long and drawn out and the only sound comming from the dining room was the sounds of little crabs eating with the occasional screetch from Maya, and the creaking of her arthritic bones.
After having fulfilled their mission, the crabs turned about face and filed out of the stricked, stained room (in desperate need of a dry cleaning). They had to return to HQ (the kitchen) for new orders. An observer would have noted that mutant crana-scruffia Octopus had been on the menu, but never served...
Lars came out of the cupboard in a semblace of his normal state, only to be confronted with a tottering line of regimented crabs, somewhat more red (and rather gritty) than before.
Lars fell back into the cupboard, muttering about "nasty hackie's!"
Greg had split off from his group, distracted by a strong spicy smell. His detour was rewarded with the sight of a disturbing development in the kitchen...
***
Lars, thinking the coast was clear, emerged slowly from the cupboard and bumped straight into Rod.
"Sorry" whined Rod. "Have you seen my wife, Catie? I can't find her anyway." His lower lip trembled and suddenly Rod burst into tears.
"Oh no!" He sobbed. "She's probably dead!"
While an uncomfortable Lars tried to console Rod, Kat, Matt, Julia, Darren, KatE and Sarah (who looked none the worse for wear after her trip out the window) entered the dining room.
"Are we all ok?" Asked Matt, leaning on a tall staff-like stick.
"Yes," everyone muttered, everyone except Rod who had now drenched Lars' shirt in tears.
"Well maybe now we can get around to figuring out who the murderer is." Julia said reverting back to her detective role.
"Hey, wait a minute!" commented Sarah. "Maybe Maya was right about who the murder is."
"Well, who did she think it was?" Demanded Julia.
Sarah paused adn then blurted out "Greg!"
"Where is Greg, anyway?" asked Sarah, looking around.
"And Catie," wailed Rod. "Where's my Catie?"
He burst into fresh tears against Lars' chest.
Kat turned to KatE.
"Hey, that's right. Where did she vanish of to?"
"Umm... she said she was hungry."
***
In the kitchen, Greg was watching Catie as she was cornered by a large octopus and a sea of crabs. The curry was simmering on a stove on the other side of the room. This posed a problem for Greg, as he *really* wanted that curry. In a flash of inspiration, he climbed onto the nearest bench, scooped up 2 crabs & threw them across the kitchen to land in a conveniently placed pot of boiling water. One missed, but Greg remedied that by throwing another. What 2 crabs happily boiling away, Greg leaped from the bench to the island bench, then across to the sink. One foot landed in asink full of water, but that didn't bother Greg, because he could now reach the curry. He grasped the curry & the crabs, & carrying the two saucepans, he leaped out the window, noticing in passing that Catie had the octopus attached to her face, & was warding off crabs with a meat-tenderiser.
***
Joshina wasn't happy. She had been rejected by Lars' stallion because she was "ugly" & now all these terrible crabs were chasing her. She'd crushed several with her hooves, but they were coming faster & faster.
Without Maya to direct her, Joshina backed into the pool, & struggled to the shallow end. Just as she reached the steps, the crabs surrounded the pool, & the ones in the water began scuttling towards her.
***
Kat, KatE, Matt, Darren, Julia, Sarah, Lars and a quietly sobbing Rod raced to the kitchen. There was no-one there.
"Where have they got to?" asked Kat.
"I can't see anything to point to..." said Julia, but Darren jumped in, "Hey what's that."
He pointed to the stove top where the group could see a broken crab shell.
"Oooh, there's meat in there, too!" cried KatE in delight. She skipped over to the stove.
"Damn, it's not cooked", she complained. "Oh, well, I'll just have to put it on now."
Meanwhile, a thoughtful Matt was putting two and two together and coming up with five.
"Catie and Greg must be in this together. They fought a revellious crab and left just before we got here... through that open window!" he pointed to Greg's getaway method.
"Great work Matt," enthused "Detective" Julia. "The only thing you didn't take into account is this trail of blood leading out the door and down the hallway to..." she trailed off as she followed the blood. She heard a munching crunching sound coming from the bathroom.
"Ahhh..." she screamed, "who was that?"
"Um, it looks like... Greg!" cried Rod, by now sniffling rather than crying.
"What's that?" asked Kat, pointing to the opposite corner of the room.
"It's my Catie," Rod began sobbing uncontrollably again.
"Ew, what are those circles all over her face?" asked Julia.
Matt decided that he should take cahrge. He confronted Greg, who was, as Julia had commented, looking a little perculiar being covered with curry and crab remains.
"I'm making a citizen's arrest," Matt announced, "You, Gregory Hibbert, are under arrest for the murders of Lauren Rizzi, Catie... Rod's wife, uh... and various other peoples. Yes... what comes next? You have the right to remain silent..." Matt fell silent as a large tentacle wrapped around his neck. Matt's face was turning a bloated shade or purple.
"Oh my God!" shrieked Kate, "A giant octopus is killing Matt!"
"Wow, Kate," said Julia, "I never knew that you liked him that much."
"It will come after us next," shrieked Kate, running from the room.
"Stop her... um... Faraday!" cried Kat, chasing after her, the others in hot persuit.
Greg looked up from the remains of his crab snack.
"Did you say something about me being the murderer?" he asked Matt.
Matt didn't answer, as he fell from the octopus' grip and to the floor. He lay on the floor - dead - as the tentacle crept from the room.
***
Kate ran around a corner and suddenly found herself standing opposite a figure in a mask.
"Oh! You scared me!" she cried.
"Hello, Faraday," the figure replied.
Kate looked confused for a moment, and then remembered her stage name. Her confusion was interrupted, however, as she was grabbed by her hair. The masked figure produced a crab from its pocket, and gripped it by the claw. Carefully, it sliced open Kate's throat with the claw and then stabbed her in the stomach for good measure. The murderer dropped her body to the floor and strode down the hall.
As it left, a copy of "Starman" by Sara Douglass fell from its hand.
***
In the confusion of the hasty exit from the bathroom the group scattered, one of them, the only person who had thought where to run to, found themself down in the cellars of the inn. He hastilly located the wooden boxes he had smuggled into the inn and started unpacking dynamite. As he unpacked the last box and started to spread it arround the cellar he chuckled to himself "I am going to kill them all, including those stupid crabs. Why did I ever agree to let her be my accomplice."
He finished setting the explosives and proceeded outside to the pool, warning the people he passed not to go out to the pool because a giant octopus has been spotted in the area. He took one last look at the inn and pressed the detonator. The sun was just setting as the building collapsed, it mase an impressive setting as he realised he was finally rid of them all.
Unfortunently as he scanned his eyes over the ruin he spotted a dusty female emergine from the wreckage. She purposely strode towards him, a large army of crabs forming at her heals. As she approached he noticed she was cradling the body of a dead octopus in her arms.
***
She could feel tears forming in her eyes, but she did not want to let him see her cry. She stopped four paces in from the man she now dispised. With the motion of her arms she ordered her crabs to encircle them. She then removed her mask and dusty cloak, as she heard him say "Why are you still alive?"
"Why did you kill KatE?" she demanded in return.
"KatE?" he asked in confusion. "I didn't kill KatE..."
"You didn't?" asked the woman. "But that must mean..."
She spread her arms and 2 small troops of crabs scuttled off to search the area.
"Well, Darren," Sarah said spitefully. "It didn't quite work out the way you planned, did it?"
"Not quite," he admitted candidly, "but then, the most important people are dead."
"You could have stopped at Chris and Maya," she suggested.
"And leave all those potential witnesses? You know how these things always work out. The audience always works out whodunnit."
"Well, perhaps you should have thought out your plan a little more," Sarah said. "Or at least used a little more explosive."
"Why?"
Sarah silently pointed to her left. One of the troops of crabs was returning, and bringing with them Lars and Julia, atop Lars' horse.
"Darren!" cried Julia. "I knew it was you!"
Darren shook his head. "Oh, she is such a good detective..."
Sarah smirked at him, then turned to face Lars and Julia.
"Help!" she shrieked. "He has me surrounded with his killer crabs!"
Never one to pass up a chance to rescue a damsel in distress, Lars spurred his stallion, which then reared, dropping Julia onto the sea of crabs, which had doubled in size with the return of the second troop. Lars and his horse galloped forward, scooping Sarah up behind him as he passed.
"Wait!" cried Darren. "You're making a mistake!"
Not willing to doubt the work of a lady, but suspicious none the less, Lars reined in. This gave Sarah the chance to wrap one of Scruffy's tentacles around Lars' neck and strangle him to death.
Lars fell from his saddle, and Sarah swept her arms upwards, which caused the crabs to devour Lars where he lay.
"Julia!" called Sarah. "I must know! Who murdered KatE?"
"Well, after analysing all the evidence, I would have to say that it was... Bree, the inn-keepers' daughter!"
"Chris and Maya didn't have a daughter," Darren replied scornfully.
"Oh... then it must have beem the butler, Geordie!"
"There was no butler," Sarah added to Julia's discomfort.
"Um... well then I guess it must have been me? If it wasn't the inn-keeper's daughter, or the butler..."
"You?"
"Actually, no, wait! I know! It was Lars! Because KatE knew about his, Kat and Irene's scheme to kill Chris and Maya in order to buy the property and mine for gold!"
Darren and Sarah both looked to Lars' body, and Julia took that moment to bolt for the nearest tree. The crabs knew what to do - they snipped the tendons in her ankles with their claws. Then, as Sarah didn't seem to be watching, they swiftly devoured her.
Sarah returned her attention to Darren.
"It's a shame you proved to be a traitor," she said, casually. "Everyone is dead now. It's just you and me."
Sarah dismounted and placed Scruffy down carefully. She then called her favourite crab to her and remounted.
"Courtney and I are going got a little ride now, Darren" she said. "I don't expect there will be much left of you when I return."
Darren's screams of pain were heard, as Sarah and Courtney rode off into the sunset.
THE END