Scarlet
WRITTEN IN THE ORDER: CATIE, MATT, JULIA, CHRIS, LARS, ED PAYNE, IRENE, JARED, KATE, DARREN, SARAH, MAYA, KAT
29 September, 1943
My dear friend Courtney,
If you are reading this letter, it means I have been killed. I wish I could tell you this personally, but this will have to do. I have always admired you and your will to persevere through all opposition. I wish you well in your quest to become a vet, and feel sure you will succeed. All my love to your family,
Yours Sincerley,
Matthew Morrison
Courtney realised she had collapsed on the ground and was sobbing. She tried to control herself but found it impossible. At that moment, her mother Julia walked in.
"What's wrong, Courtney? You look terrible."
"Oh, mother. It's horrible. Matthew's dead."
"Oh darling. I'm so sorry." Julia enclosed her daughter in her warm embrace and allowed her to cry.
The next day, Courtney decided she could not allow Matthew's death to keep her from her dream, so... 
she packed her bags and moved to the city. She found a quant little home. The snotty old land lady, namely Shazza, approached her as she walked through the large Victorian enterance. There was an atmosphere of tension as she walked up the stairs to the top floor. She cried out in a final gasp on anguish as she took a step over the edge of the balcony. The piearcing screach of the police car shattered the silence of the blackened out street. The car came to a sudden hold and out poured rod, lawry, chris and Kate, out of the police car.
Shazza was most uncommunicative. The officer asked to go down town. Once getting there Kate offered her tea, "If I want tea I would have asked for one "wench".
The crack police team of Kate, Rod, Lawry and Chris decided on the basis of the evidence (the suspect's ill temper and ownership of Courtney's apartment) that Shazza had murdered Courtney. Her motive, jealousy, Courtney was a much better name than Shazza. With the case closed after a life sentence in Alcatraz for Shazza, Kate, Rod, Lawry and Chris lived happily and contentedly for evermore.
Meanwhile, in a private hospital in Canada a pioneering operation had been performed and Maya Morrison was "reborn". Matt had secretly always wanted to be a buxom wench and this constant longing had been the motivation for leaving his beloved Courtney and travelling all this way. It had been heart wrenching to write that letter to Courtney that announced Matt's death, but Maya knew it was the only option. Courtney would never have understood.
Maya's first day (as a woman) began promisingly...
Meanwhile, Greg had finally figured a way out of his situation. It was risky, but there was no alternative. With less than a week remaining, he had to come up with the $200,000 to settle a debt Matt and he had with their supplier. Without the money, Matt's life was in danger. With all 10 fingers already removed from previous disputes, he didn't want to think about what he might lose this time. Greg's plan to solve this was simple. They would kidnap the child of a local millionaire, who happened to have links to the world of crime. He would have to be crazy to report the kidnapping and the ransom demand to the police, as he was already suspected for money laundering. Unfortunately for Greg, he had no idea about the transformation Matt had undertaken. Greg was in no danger thanks to his family's police links.
Even more unfortunately, perhaps, he was completely unaware that he was being monitored closely by Rod, Lawry, Chris and Kate as their next assignment.
***
Word of Courtney's death reached Julia; a cold short phone call in early hours of the morning. It was so quick. Had she dreamt it? It couldn't be true... Events tossed and turned in her mind: Matt's death, Courtney moving to the city - god, she had seen her only a week ago. A week was too short, too soon, she was still so young...
And murder too, stripped of her life by cruel fate, so soon after Matt's death. She walked over to the liquor cabinet, and went to pour herself a large glass of vodka. Her hand was shaking. Before that night broke into dawn, she would drink a bottle and a half of vodka, break down crying again and again before she eventually threw up and collapsed on her bed in restless sleep.
The next day, she had managed to compose herself on the outside, disguising the inner turbulence. She decided to visit Matt's parents in hope of some support. Matt and Courtney had been so close, they would understand.
Shazza found herself in solitary confinement, somewhere in Alcatraz, burning with anger. She had been wrongly convicted of Courtney's murder, and to top it off, they had claimed her motive was jealousy. And it was all true, everything apart from the act itself. Even in death, Courtney had struck another blow and she was now living a crime she had not commited.
Her fingers clenched to fists. There wasn't even anything she could do to get back at her. Except perhaps taking the man she had always loved. She giggled hysterically. Of course. Matt had always been Courtney's greatest concern. She sat back against the wall, content for the moment, as she planned her escape. All she had once she was out was his parent's address from a letter they had sent Courtney. She had never been told of Matt's death.
Alcatraz certainly wasn't a nice place to be, and fellow prisoners were giving Shazza a tough time. Ever since she has been sent to the dark, gloomy cells of Alcatraz, the 'big' guys had been giving her a rouch time; always harassing her and teasing her about her appearance. There was this one really tough guy who especially picked on Shazza - his name was Jared. He never let anything slip by without a few piercing comments. But there was a very perculiar aspect of Jared that Shazza couldn't quite pick, something about him although being pretty rough on the outside, he seemed to have some sort of past connection with her.
The days continued to pass by, and Shazza's plan for escape was almost complete. What she could do was fake her own death and then they would carry her just outside the high security area, then, maybe, since she was quite strong, and brutal at times, (even though she didn't commit the murder) surprise the keepers with a blow to the head and push them in the dead man's pit. She had dreamed it a few times, and it was all soon going to become a reality...
After a quick shower, Julia decided to get a cab to Matt's parents house, feeling too shakey to drive. Just before her lift arrived, she glanced at the morning paper, and gasped "Oh no - not Jared!" Jared, Courtney and Matt had all been friends since they were kids, only Jared had been badly influenced and turned nasty. He had been convicted of several assaults and even murder, and it was a shock that he had escaped from Alcatraz after years of confinement. Julia put this from her mind as she got into the car and told the driver the address.
Matt's parents were wealthy, although Julia barely noticed the well kept garden and shiney polished cars in the drive, wondering instead what she wanted to say to them. Somehow she felt that Matt and Courntey's murders were related - but how?
As Julia knocked and waited at the front door, a strange feeling came over her. Something was wong - the house looked too perfect, too quiet - as it it was unlived in. Her thoughts were interupted as the door swung open. But it was not Matt's parents who answered it. "Jared..." Julia mumbled, stumbling backwards in fright. Meanwhile, a strangly familiar women watched from behind a tree, a faint smile across her face.
High above the western front in his Messerschmitt ME 109, Kummandant Greg Brandtner munched on a bar of Lindt chocolate. He rubbed his gloved fingers against his Mae West to ward off the sub-zero temperature. However, the danger of the skies was far from his mind. Far more pressing was the thought of his cousin, Matthias, from whom he had recently received a letter, and more recently a telegram. The letter was, as expected and planned, a notice of his death, but the telegram brought unexpected and unwanted news. It told not only of Matt's whereabouts, but also of Jared's escape. Glasgow, Greg repeated to himself, Glasgow. The telegram also demanded they meet - the cause of Greg's dilemma.
Suddenly, he made up his mind. Smashing open the canopy, he stood up and leapt from the cockpit. From 35,000 feet, the white cliffs of Dover, directly below, still stood out, but the lack of oxygen was contrictive. Seconds later the parachute opened, and Kommandant Greg was drifting to earth in peace...
***
"What the - ?" Lawry exclaimed, gripping his headphones.
Kate came running in, carrying a plate of crab kebabs.
"What happened? That's wrong?"
"We've lost them!" Lawry shook his head and took off the earphones. "Months! We've been observing Greg and Matt for months, and we finally get our people on board, and then we lose contact. We were so close!"
Kate shrugged.
"Stress less. Chris and Rod are on the Messerschmitt ME 109, keeping an eye on things. You can't expect a connection between the US and a plane above the Western Front to be faultless. We'll catch the woman who's been supplying Matt and Greg with vast quantities of lemon-lime vodka."
***
Jared's hand clenched and unclenched around a bar of "Black Forest" chocolate.
"Julia, how good of you to come!" With his free hand, he grasped Julia and dragged her inside.
Julia was horrified. Inside, the walls were lined with cases and cases of vodka - not ordinary vodka, but the lemon-lime variety. Jared pulled one bottle from an open case, and handed it to her.
"Drink," he ordered.
Julia, unable to refuse anything resembling vodka, (even stuff that had been declared unsuitable for human consumption, due to a strong resemblance to 'Morning Fresh' detergent), took the bottle and swallowed. What Julia did not know was that this was an experimental mix with cheap port (Julia was colour blind), and by the time she finished the bottle the foul stuff cursing through her veins had poisoned her. In moments she lay dead on the floor, a blissfil smile on her face. Jared ate his chocolate and then opened the door, through which a woman walked.
"Everything is going exactly to plan."
***
Shazza was back in solitary confinement. Although she had been previously allowed to interact with the other inmates, Jared's escape from the prison had fuelled the strong and brutal, jealous potential, and Shazza had... exploded. However, it was all an act, and Shazza's seeming insanity would make her "death" all the more plausible. Tonight she would make her move.
***
As Greg was falling through the sky, Chris and Rod slowly came to the realisation that there were attatched a non-piloted plane. Chris became hysterical, and began a desperate struggle across the outside of the plane, attempting to reach the controls.
Rod, seeing that Greg had given up his seat, clambered much more calmly across the outside of the plane. He took control, and casually batted Chris away.
"Get off, you smeg'ead," he cried. "I'm in control now, and I'm off too see the contact - Irene - in America. Greg can deal with the situation here." Rod swatted Chris, who fell through the air, plummeting towards the earth.
"You traitor!" he screamed...
***
As Greg continued falling, he reached into his pack for a curried egg sandwich...
***
Jared was still smiling as the woman started speaking. "I have just had word from Rod that Chris has met with an unfortunate accident and will never be able to mess with out operations again." The grin on Jared's face grew some more, "brilliant work Irene, he was a major problem in our scheme, he knew far too much about what we were trying to achieve, we can now start the next phase of out plan that involves killing Maya." Irene turned and left starting to worry about when Jared might decide she had outlived her usefulness. Still shaking her head she got on the phone and started aranging plans to kill Maya.
***
As Rod arrived in America he was greated by his fellow investigators carrying the news of Chris' unfortunate death. It appeared his parachute had been sabotaged before take off leaving him stranded when he had accidently fallen from the plane. Although Lawry and Kate could not work out why Rod was grinning the whole time he was being told the news.
***
Meanwhile Greg was still peacefully falling to earth.
***
Shazza climbed out of the pot-hole and realised she had emerged in a camp site, Wilsons Prom National Park camp site to be exact. She dusted herself off and chuckled at the cleverness of her plan. She had successfully escaped that awful place and now she was free. Shazza moved forward but triped over the peg of a silver dome tent. She muttered an oath and ran away down the dirt track and towards her vengence on Courtney.
***
Rod sat down next to Kate and Lawry inside their prototype, disguised, undercover panel van.
"It's such a shame about that Chris." Kate sighed. "He made some great choc-chip biscuits."
"Actually," Lawry replied. "His mum made them but it is sad. Rod, what are you smiling about."
Rod, caught unawares, spilled the glass of cheap port he has been drinking onto his jacket.
"Bugger..." he exclaimed and grabbed a cloth.
Suddenly, the phone on the nearby table rang and Lawry picked up expecting to hear from another of their spies in the German army.
"Hello Payne..."
***
Meanwhile, Greg was still falling but by this stage he had found some amusement in practicing with his childhood yoyo.
***
Payne was huddled in a phone booth at the German army base talking to Lawry, his American police associate, telling him about his newfound discovery. "Yes, Lawry - I've finally found it. This cleaner's disguise really works. The Germans who are really nasty have this big bunker that everyone thinks is disused - but it's actually... the vodka factory! I've observed how they make it - you know their secret and deadly ingredient? Morning Fresh! And the 3 big ringleaders are these 3 butch German women soldiers - Kat, Sarah and Catie I think. They run everything, and there's this poor old lady Mrs Ariel, who has to clean out all the pots. Anyway, I have to go - the 3 big bosses have left their office and are coming back soon," Payne whispered. He put the phone down, picked up his broom and turned around, only to face Kat, Sarah and Catie standing in the doorway.
***
Meanwhile, Matt who was now in woman form, sat miserably on an island in the Pacific Ocean. He had found out that his cousin, Greg, was falling out of a plane and therefore was almost dead. Also he'd found out that his parents had overdosed on lemon-lime vodka - but he knew that it was all Jared's doing. That boy really was evil. Ever since he started getting that bad vodka from his cohorts Kat, Catie and Sarah in Germany, and had convinced Matt to be a distributer, everything had turned bad.
Jared was insane - he secretly loved Courtney, but Courtney's eyes were focused on one man and one man alone - Matt. So Jared killed Courntey and her mother in an insane rage and now he was after Matt. Luckily Matt had thought of this and had had a sex change to disguise himself, and had also faked a telegram to Jared saying he was in Glasgow. But after thinking about this for a while, Matt realised he was on a beautiful island and that he was a woman and was wearing a bikini, so he ripped off his clothes and ran into the water.
***
In the air above the western front, Greg was still falling ans had gotten bored of his yoyo so he started wating curry powder.
***
Over at Wilson's Prom, Shazza was being chased by Gordie, a feral wombat. Shazza's short legs could carry her no further, and she collapsed. Gordie chuckled to himself and ate Shazza for dinner.
***
In Germany, Payne fiddled with the phone a bit more, pretending he was cleaning it, then moved over to the filing cabinet. Payne had said in his application that he didn't speak German, which was true - what he had failed to mention was that he understood it perfectly.
"What did Rod say?" asked Catie of Sarah in German, as the three entered the office.
"He said that we have a spy," Sarah replied. "He was trying to find out what his name is, so we can eliminate him."
"What can they know? The final shipment has already left for America, and our hands are clean," Kat said, sitting back in her chair.
"That's true," Catie replied, taking some chocolate from the bar fridge. "As soon as the final shipment is in Jared's hands, we have no connection. They will be unable to prove anything."
Payne finished polishing a mirror, bowed to the 3 women, and left the office. He had to call Lawry.
***
Meanwhile, Greg had realised all his curry powder had been going into his hair, and was admiring his orange-tinted hair in a compact.
"I see," said Lawry, listening intently to Payne's frantic report. "Get yourself out of there Payne. There's nothing more we can learn. I will take care of the traitor."
Lawry turned to find Rod standing behind him.
"You won't be "taking care of" anything," Rod said menacingly.
Lawry gasped and unwittingly inhaled the fumes from the shot-glass of lemon-lime vodka Rod was holding.
"What the-? Morning Fresh?" Lawry gasped, becoming dizzy.
Rod watched as Lawry swayed, then hit him over the head with the empty "McWilliams" port bottle for good measure. The $5 for 2L bottle broke into many shards, and Lawry passed out. Rod poured half a bottle of lemon-lime vodka down his throat, then fled the van, heading for Matt's parent's house before KatE returned.
KatE returned from the baker shortly after Rod had fled the scene.
"Hey, guys, they had curry pies!" she called, pulling open the rear doors of their panel van.
The fumes from the lemon-lime vodka and the dregs of the port rolled out, and KatE stepped back, gagging. Resolutely, she opened one of the paper bags containing a curry pie, and breathing the scent of the pie, entered the van. KatE stumbled down the length of the van, her eyes falling on Lawry's unconscious form. Grabbing him by the collar, she dragged him towards the open door, pressing the "emergency" button with her elbow as she passed. KatE dragged Lawry a little way down the street, then tore open the bag of her pie and commenced to eat it before preparing to go back in after Rod.
Luckily, the fumes from the curry pie roused Lars, and he coughed, choked, rolled over and threw up in the gutter. KatE placed the pie she'd bought for him near his hand, and stated her intention to go and rescue Rod from the toxic fumes in the van. Still choking and gagging a little, Lars explained what Payne had passed on, and what had subsequently happened.
"Any idea where he's headed?" asked KatE, opening Rod's pie.
Lars shook his head.
At that moment, a car pulled up in response to KatE's distress signal. KatE explained what had happened to Bree, their boss, while a medic checked out Lawry.
"We have some more information for you," said Bree. "This is Maya."
A beautiful woman in a very brief bikini stepped out of the car. KatE noticed that she had very hairy legs.
"Better known as Matt Morrison."
"That explains the legs," commented KatE.
"Yes, Maya and I have already had a discussion about that," Bree replied. "Anyway, she has informed us that one Jared Dye, recently escaped from Alcatraz, notorious dealer of illegal lemon-lime vodka, has set up again in her parent's house."
"Where is it?" asked KatE.
Maya gave the address, and KatE looked to Lawry, who had seemingly recovered enough to eat his curry pie.
"We'll go there immediately," said KatE. "We'll need your car though."
"Certainly," replied Bree. "Third gear doesn't work too well, but you'll work around that I'm sure."
"I'll manage," KatE replied, accepting the keys. "Lawry! Come on. We're going to arrest some people."
"Oh, goody!" he replied, cramming the last of his pie into his mouth and jogging over. "Leth go!"
***
Meanwhile, Greg had passed through a rain cloud, which had wet his curry into a kind of paste, which he was using to draw Maori tattoos on his face.
***
The stakeout was in place, and Maya had agreed to be the bait. She had shaved her legs, and now looked even more like a female, in her pale pink summer dress. It all finished so quickly - Maya rang the doorbell, and Irene answered. Jared was called to the door, and Lawry grabbed Irene while KatE grabbed Jared. Once the two nefarious lemon-lime vodka dealers had been restrained, Lawry and KatE went in after Rod, who was also captured without much of a struggle. Bree praised Lawry and KatE for their efforts, and berated Rod severely for going over to the enemy. Rod acted chastened, but was still sent to Alcatraz with Jared and Irene.
***
Greg looked down and realised that he had taken so long to fall from his plane, that he was now somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. He spied a very nice little island which he wouldn't have minded visiting, but realised he was approaching the United States of America - or perhaps it was Canada. In any case, it was just appearing over the horizon.
***
Maya received the $201,000 reward for information leading to the capture of Jared Dye, which paid off Matt's debt to his supplier; However the fact that Jared was the supplier, and the state had confiscated all his holdings and accounts, meant that the government was only $1000 out of pocket. Maya was thrilled, she "permanently hired" the island she'd been staying on and bought herself a brand new wardrobe.
***
In Germany, Kat, Catie and Sarah's business was investigated, but was found to be producing normal, good quality vodka, with no hint of Morning Fresh, with the exception of Mrs. Ariel's supplies for washing the pots and pans. Of the women themselves, there was no sign - it was rumoured that they had gone on holidays the day before.
Payne returned to America, and he KatE and Lawry were all rewarded for their efforts on the case, and given a month's paid leave. It was not long, however, before the three were working together again...
***
Greg realised he was not going to make it to the large land mass, and was going to have to put up with a water landing. As he had been taught, he removed his shoes and shoved them in his pack, and when he was merely metres above the water, pulled the release cord on his parachute, which detached and blew away. Greg plunged into the ocean, the warm salty water washing away the curry, but leaving him with orange-streaked hair and Maori tattoos.
Just then, a large yacht drifted past and Greg was lifted aboard by a beautiful young woman in a fluro green bikini.
"Uh... Thanks for the rescue," muttered Greg, wondering how he was going to explain how he came to be in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, without his bathers.
"Not a problem, Greg," Maya replied.
It seemed there would be no need for explanations on Greg's part. Maya quickly explained everything that had happened, and Greg, finally able to relax, shed his pack and shirt, and rolled up his jeans to sit in the sun.
"Here, have some curried crab," offered Maya. "We're heading to the island, and I can't eat and drive the boat at the same time."
"Where'd you get the boat?"
"Oh, it belongs to the 3 German women who own the island. They never use the island, and the boat came with the lease."
Greg settled back and ate Maya's crab as he pondered everything that had happened.
"Say, Maya, those bathers look really good on you."
"Thanks," Maya flirted. "It's 'all me' too."
Maya and Greg lived happily on the island for evermore.
THE END